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[06 Nov 2004|01:52am] hey guys. i haven't decided to come back i just wanna let you know im still alive. :) and i thank you for not taking me off your friends list. ill be back soon. hopefully. <3333 4bullets| pow wow

[29 Oct 2004|11:05pm] im taking a break from lj. too much is going on right now. ill miss you guys. please dont cut me. :( <3 4bullets| pow wow

[23 Oct 2004|04:29pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | bruises ] i feel so blah all the time. i hate it. yesturday sucked. my mom was bitching because she didn't want me to go out. but i went anyway. then i got 4 people mad at me. which completely sucked because that means that the rest of the night, i was thinking about that. so i hung ouy with brian<3, nuno, jason, and brian's cousin. we walked around and went to dunkin donuts. coffee came out of brian's nose. haha it was so funny. then we took some pictures on jason's phone. we all look so corny. :) then they walked me home because my mom wouldn't stop calling. it hurts to know that we used to be bestfriends, and now, im nothing to you. everytime i walk by you i feel awkward and im afraid to breathe. i feel like breaking down when i look at you because you were the only one i could count on. i know this is all my fault but i love you. and i wont stop trying. you mean everything to me. :( it's 4:33 and i still dont know what im gonna do. im NOT staying home because im mad at my mom. but then again im NOT gonna go out when i have nowhere to go. i hope brian can leave the party early. he's the only one that can make this go away. he's the only one that makes me smile. he's the only one that cares. <3 /edit: i feel so fucking stupid and so fucking.. AHH! i cant control myself. i cant stop crying and i have no fucking clue why. everything everyone says gets to me. and everything that goes wrong i cry for. everything is hitting me all at once. i hate this. i dont wanna feel like this. i hate this fucking feeling. i just wanna be happy. AM I ASKING FOR TOO DAMN MUCH?!?! 2bullets| pow wow

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